Vince Young: Togo’s new center forward

Togo have a new center forward and have chosen star quarterback Vince Young. We’ve all heard about how elusive, how skillful and how strong Wayne Rooney is. Well check out this fella! At 6′5″ and 230lbs, Vince could run headfirst through the England wall, and not even feel the breeze.

Togo mastermind, Otto Pfister, spent weeks scouring documents of famous American athletes, looking for the Togo connection. Apparently 12 generations ago one of Vince’s ancestors lived in Togo. Since the country enjoys very liberal passport laws, Vince was given a passport and offered the job.

Aware that his new talent might have trouble learning to kick a round ball, rather than throw an oval one, coach Pfister has designed a special head set, that re-wires Vince’s cerebrum during a game. He actually can ‘think in College Football’ but play soccer. Those forearm smashes to the face of opposing defenders, translate to a slight tug of the shirt.

The Togo team better hunt down a wildebeest for a new and hungry Longhorn.